Archive for November, 2009

After reading a story in the LA Times this a.m. I feel compelled to extend compassion and love to the family of solider, Peter Sinclair. He died, essentially, to his inability to feel whole after fighting in the war and it took it’s toll on his body and mind.  I am heart broken for the loss of their son, brother and friend. I am heart broken at the loss of so many souls (and to this I speak literally, of the soul) that have had to endure the experience of viewing and participating in the enormous barbarity of war.

What could be more challenging for a person to reconcile? How often do we find ourselves racked with grief or guilt over accidentally offending someone? How many times has it taken one of us, a civilian, several days to forgive ourselves for yelling at someone when we could have simple spoken?  I know my psyche could never survive war.

I can’t possibly imagine the devastating self talk that one must relentless endure after participating in an event, that no matter how just or how American and patriotic we dress it up to be, at it’s core must rage against the heart, soul and “knowing” of the individual.  A knowing that speaks truth; that killing and defiling humanity isn’t leading to solution.  I say this not to upset those who’ve been in service, to negate what they felt was right, but to assuage the small voice within them somewhere saying, Why must we do this? Why must I continue to live through these memories? I did what I had to do, I did the “right” thing, but whose standards and morals were they serving? Was it truly their own or what they’ve been taught to believe?

Certain extremist Islamic sects teach their children that Americans are evil, that killing oneself in the name of Allah guarantees’ them heavenly status and generous perks. Do we believe our evilness to be true? Do we think their chosen death paths lead to a harem of heavenly gain? Most likely not, yet we are willing to believe the training we’ve received as the gospel. We are fighting and defending our great America, a pure and good country, filled with Christians, Catholics and all those other people were willing to tolerate to prove we are indeed a great country, that equality does exist for all. Unless…you aren’t American…or have a resource we want. So what do we do? We make up a mantra, a repetitive story we tell ourselves to justify the murder and torture of other humans.

Marshall Rosenberg, the author (genius and master teacher) of the book Non-Violent Communication, mentions this fact in an online youtube recording. He speaks about our need to make someone else less than, wrong, bad, or evil in order for us to validate our cruel and animalistic behavior towards them….but then what happens? The heart and soul become deafening loud. They speak to us through memories, dreams, voices we can’t control and for which drugs will never successfully bury.

Why is this? Every single one of us aches. We crave love, approval and attention. We seek to be understood and forget to be understanding. We each desire to be seen but forget that every single one of us has that same unanswered urge to be acknowledged for our value and our worth. We each want to be viewed as special and as Eckhart Tolle (on youtube) quietly contends, the ego’s biggest battle is to not be ordinary. We fight our ordinariness; we secretly expect to be held in high adoration from those we know and when they don’t (because they are too busy trying to get their needs met) we languish and lash out (most often in the most passive and seemingly innocuous tones or comments). As persons living daily in our “normal” civilian lives we find our reprieve in the small failings of others; but when given the power and authority to reign over others in the brainwashed ideals of a country united, we take our need for admiration to the utmost. We kill and torture and hold prisoner the bodies, hearts and minds of others with whom we’ve been told are the enemy. We play the game, tit for tat to it’s ultimate extreme. We are like angry school kids that choose to hit back rather than use our words. We: the adults, the leaders and teachers of our societies; the ultimate hypocrites. If we were courageous enough to come from our hearts and do what we know is ultimately best for all persons sharing this planet, perhaps we would be teaching the Golden Rule in the most profound way possible, through example, as I am sure Peter Sinclair had intended from the time he was two years old. He didn’t come into the world believing he must heed to the needs of others and thereby begin a plight of devastation within himself and his tormented body and mind. He only wanted to do what he was told was the right thing to do. He only wanted to be a good boy. He only wanted to be loved, not be ordinary, not fall into the idea’s of what weakness looked like, he renounced his own good and that of his hearts calling to be of true service and instead became a statistic of the droning chant which teaches us to think in an “us against them mentality”, to his innocent demise.