Archive for January, 2010

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A change in perspective. We hear it all the time, it’s considered the new “catch phrase” among the spiritual teachers and new age coaches.  The question is, how do we truly get to that place? How do we see another persons perspective clearly without painting an agenda onto it?

I have been challenged recently with this very idea. This desire to hear authentically has always been with me, but rarely if ever have I been able to do this very task. I have pursued different teachers, different paths and different ideologies and belief that NVC, which stands for Non-Violent Communication (createed by Marshall Rosenberg), has one of the most profound techniques for assisting with the communication/compassion needs of humanity.

My coach, who is a very dedicated 23 year-old young man, has been immensely helpful in my process. He, from the goodness of his heart, has been guiding myself and others through this process for no charge. A gift from his heart to the rest of the world, I thank him deeply for his dedication and belief in a better world.

In conjunction with NVC, I am using another approach. My coach, Daniel, doesn’t full agree with this mixed bag of tricks as he knows that straight NVC talk does work, but forgives me as I am a babe in the woods and knows that I am lost!

What I have found that if the need to defend oneself and the need to be heard (first) leaves our mind, no longer is the focus of our chosen words about us and the ability to hear what the other person is truly saying comes through much stronger. The ability to unite rather than fight is more easily accessed and since I have always been plagued with the desire to be free, I am finding that the freedom I crave is coming forth more quickly than it ever has before. I encourage all persons to engage from a place of just  acknowledging what the other person is saying. A simple, thank you for your thoughts is enough.  I recommend speaking honestly about what is being felt within your body, as it is a huge source of information, if one stops to feel, the words become more honest and less defensive or attacking of the other. They are descriptors of your experience only, such as: I feel really tight in my chest and I’m scared. I feel a lot of energy trapped in my chest and I want to scream. Those are honest communications and they do not make you bad, wrong or defensive and nor do they put any onus on anyone else. They are just reports. When reporting about oneself, you have the opportunity to feel more deeply what it is that’s really caused the offense to occur in the first place and in doing this type of self-research, you realize your really the one who is carrying all these thoughts and idea’s about yourself (that you haven’t really heard come from the other persons mouth at all), but you have thought them silently. Where did those thoughts and feelings arise from originally? Why has this moment awakened these feelings and what can you do to nurture yourself? This ability brings freedom, it brings healing to the core of self.  It’s a really challenging process and I urge you to take it on, as it’s the most gratifying gift to give to oneself.

Blessings to you.

Kimberly