Archive for the 'Eckhardt Tolle' Category
I think it was Eckhart Tolle who said, “not everyone is going to like you, not everyone liked Jesus”. Can you imagine that? Jesus was about love and equality and yet, we have people who didn’t care for his message. Why might that be? My guess is people weren’t open to the emotional logic and maturity of Jesus’ teachings. It didn’t feel safe to consider the concept of equality. It threatens the ego (mind) and since we have settled into fear as our most primary of emotions, the concept of domination (over others and nature) has taken a strong hold over humanities psyche and safety always seems to be at the crux of this tactic.
As far as safety is concerned, we’ve been taught to believe it’s mostly a financial game. If I am more important than you (cuz I have money), then I have a reason to get my way over yours. Of course that does play out by believing in a superiority over others mentality. Hence why the money stays within the 1% in this country. All of this of course then aptly justifies (in the minds of these precious few) why I have food when you don’t, have a big house, more money, material ease, personal comforts, get my way…..the list is endless).
What I’ve learned is money has little to do with our emotional success (a feeling of safety and connection to others) and that a sense of peace and wholeness does not come from a high income (isn’t Trump the epitome of proof?). Based on my experience, I feel safest when I have stability and with that a feeling of safety arises. When I feel stable, I feel safe, I can trust more and isn’t that what’s continually being threatened? Personal trust and safety is a COMMODITY and it’s one we’ve naively handed over to our persecutors (Corporations , the 1% not our neighbors) and then blindly believe it’s those whom we’ve given our power to who will save us when in fact they’re using or fears or inability to trust as the very weapons they wield against us (trump, media)?
It’s not about how much we have but rather- Can I depend on what I have to continue? Since that would imply an ability to control all aspects of life, including those I love, my boss, my clients, my friends and traffic (as a few examples) I could be screwed… SO the only way to truly create safety for myself is from within. It’s a courageous act, as it implies trust must already exist (on some level) and self-acceptance must be diligently applied, so we can learn how to accept and trust others. This is the how I keep moving forward-knowing I have the right to ind my mind otherwise I will only see the fear based teachings and I want more of my own power back I want to CHOOSE what I see.
I have often observed persons who have a superior intellect apply it towards diminishing others self esteem rather then uplift and support. It’s the way our whole male dominator paradigm has operated in the world for centuries and it’s my intention to challenge the way we use our minds (as does Gary Zukov, Eckhart Tolle, Carolyn Myss, Byron Katie and my current favorite, Marshall Rosenberg all do with such brilliance).
My hope is to get people to actually think about supportive dialog when interacting with others rather than the current unconscious training from which most of us speak, which is of the “divide and conquer” model. As our society teaches, winning is right, and the most important goal to accomplish. Winning is the cause of righteous self- grandiosity with little regard for the well being or nurturing of the heart of self or others.
Wouldn’t it be a rosy (or maybe a real time slap in the face) world if we actually could hear/feel how our words affect those around us? I do include myself in this by the way; I know I am far from pure and clean. I do occasionally throw the verbal dagger on purpose, but mostly jab without even realizing (as most of us do). My success with this post would come if I can assist in creating that brief pause before a person speaks, a second to re-choose words that have an arc (as opposed to a piercing thrust) during the invisible path from mouth to ear, cause a softer landing and less damage to the heart of the other person. That being said, we can’t take responsibility for how one choose to hear us, but we can be as clear and clean as possible when we speak, knowing our intentions are purely for connecting, educating, uplifting, supporting, sharing and when necessary finding a way to get our needs met that won’t jeopardize the other persons self worth.
How do we unwittingly patronize, degrade or dismiss others?
We rationalize our approach in logic and fact and believe our perceptions. We do very little listening to how our facts or opinions may effect the other. Recently I watched, Burn After Reading. In it, the wife states to the husband (in reference to him being black mailed for his memoirs), “why in the world would anyone think they have value?” Yes, it causes a laugh from the outside, as the raw, blunt honesty of her thoughts slaps him mercilessly across his already self- loathing face. For her, the confusion was true, as her respect and care for him at this point diminished to nothing. Yet, would she have hurt him (chosen that approach) to this degree if she were aware of how devastating her words sounded to his ears let alone to the ears of a passerby? If nothing at all, merely due to the selfish and fearful thought of how others would perceive her? Perhaps that’s the one instance where grace and ego can actually serve each other. If she thought for a moment her words were over heard by a stranger, would she have said them?
We’ve been taught that to hate upon the self (or to give a cold honest opinion to others) is the key to self-awareness or “perfection”, if you will. Yet, I dare ask, how is it possible to pick on, belittle and criticize while never allowing the human attributes of compassion, gentle communication, loving connection and guidance be felt for the self and others and yet expect the end result to equate to perfection? What an oxymoron. Isn’t “perfect” really an opinion anyway and a reflection of an individuals value system? What I deem as perfect for me, may be true (but really just a mind training I’ve bought) but to apply that to others is just a form of narcissism (an exaggerated sense of self importance) isn’t it? I learned this with the most non-consequential of examples.
We are taught as women to wear our nail polish (and wear it we must if we are to be considered a woman of status) without chips, makes sense, right? The chipped and tattered nail is often associated with the unkempt and unclean, perhaps even the street -walker types. I agreed fervently. Until I met a girlfriend, an artistic old soul whose passion for God and beauty, whose sustained belief of man as beings of light, regardless of their unconscious actions, wore chipped nail polish… on purpose. She felt it was (quite simply put) cool. With this, I have grown exponentially in my judgment of what perfection really is anyway. One person’s or maybe one organization’s thought (generally with a self serving agenda) pushed upon the human race so strongly (via media, which generates peer pressure, yes, even upon the adult population, I mean, look at UGGS, could they have ever become “hip” otherwise?) that we’ve all slowly started to accept the views of others over (or as) our own. Thankfully my girlfriend has maintained a strong connection to her artistic self and hasn’t fallen into the trap of the group mentality. Thankfully, I was wise enough to respect her own wisdom and allow it to chip away at my idea of what perfection really means.
To bring this to the basics, why do we want to be viewed as perfect? We believe that if we are perfect, we will get all the love and support, understanding and compassion we desire, yet without providing it to the self first, it will never be given by other’s. That’s what the mirror theory is all about, we teach others how to treat us. How we talk to self, the vibration of who we are exudes out to those around us. They pick up on that self talk, on the invisible realm we have termed, someone’s “vibe”.
Hence the adage, you can’t truly love someone else until you love yourself. How we talk to the self is how we talk to others. Want to know what you think of yourself? Look and listen. Do you ridicule, complain and feel like a victim to the circumstances of your life or do you explore, seek to understand and view challenges and heartache as gifts from the universe that provide you with an opportunity to learn and grow? Neither is wrong, but my guess is, one will provide you with a more enjoyable or in the very least, compassionate viewpoint of life. I was raised in an environment of great sorrow, repression and pain. It’s what I knew and spoke for the first forty years of my life. I write these words due to the trial and error of seeking inner peace. I am far from the “enlightened” status of the master and teachers before me but then again, perhaps my idea of enlightenment equates to perfection and if so…who am I to judge what that looks like and really what does that mean? Acceptance of self seems to be the key factor in achieving perfection.
Although The Power of Now, has been out for years, I often refer back to it when I find my mind contracting and attempting to keep me stuck. I would like to post a few of the key phrases that help me remember how to move beyond the ego’s hold over my heart.
“Choice means you are using a high degree of consciousness”. What he’s saying here, is that when we are partaking in our patterns, we are not conscious, that we aren’t really choosing at all. We like to think we are choosing, as it gives us a false sense of power. However, if you can be in a pattern and change your reactive behaviors, then you are choosing in those small moments of awareness. This is where your power can be derived. Don’t worry so much about not being in your patterns, so much as learning how to break out of them moment by moment. this is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself, small changes can lead to permanent ones!
“Unconsciousness is what allows us to be caught in our habits, patterns and beliefs of the mind”. Again, which is why small steps towards watching yourself is what’s needed. Our beliefs are what get us into trouble. It’s what Byron Katie bases all her work on and how we shift is by challenging what we believe. It’s the minds hold on us that keeps us from stepping into the heart. I have recently discovered that all my years of therapy have truly kept me trapped, teaching me that analysis would be my savior, when in fact it’s kept me caged in a logic that holds no ability to see the other person in a kind way. I’ve often used it as a sword rather than a balm. I hope to shift that now that I understand how I’ve used analysis as a shield from exploring the hearts ability to love regardless of another persons actions.
“Forgive for they know not what they do”, Eckhart quoting Jesus. What’s he saying? That even when we believe we are choosing something, we often are just reacting. We usually step forward with the validation of what the mind can muster up as justification for our behaviors towards others. When we are ready to experience self acceptance, when we are ready to feel peace, we can allow it. I have been struggling with this within myself. I have been doing Byron Katie’s worksheet, “one belief” and it’s been profoundly helpful in revealing the lies within my mind that I’ve so strongly clung to in order to stay justified in my anger or pain. I want to give that up.